This will (probably) not change your life

There are actually a few things I’ve already thought of to write about though, so perhaps 2009 may be the start of some serious hardcore blogging.

To ease myself into the spirit, I thought I’d go for an un-controversial topic. Seemed like a fine choice to comment on everyone’s favourite open-minded academic, Professor Richard Dawkins and the campaign of advertisements on buses proudly proclaiming “There is probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.”

I’m not basing any comment on my own theological beliefs, not least because I doubt you could care less what I believe in. I just saw the message emblazened on the side of a bus yesterday and it has stuck with me.

I will say, however, that Dawkins (who i know is only one person, and no more representative of athiests in general than the Ku klux Klan are of Christians) does annoy the living piss out of me. He is undoubtedly a clever man, and may ultimately be correct. Every time I’ve seen him though, he seems to have decided that the most appropriate way to challenge someone’s beliefs is by being an arrogant gobshite, and usually comparing belief in god to the tooth fairy. When he’s humiliating some pleb purely on the grounds they believe in the Virgin Birth, he’s like a first year maths undergraduate trying to embarrass a 15 year old for struggling with algebra! In short, he just seems to be a bit of a dick.

The campaign’s biggest problem, and the point that may undermine their message, is the use of the word “probably.” This has had to be included because no matter what belief (or non-belief) you follow, at the end of the day it is a matter of faith. The change from creationism to evolution wasn’t caused by someone suddenly having a complete brainwave and deciding on a new theory, but on consideration of new evidence. We are only as smart as the evidence allows us to be. Just as we now mock civilisations who believed the earth was flat, we can’t rule out the possibility that in the future people may discover that we are actually living in the Matrix!

Unfortunately, by saying there’s probably no god, the athiests have provided a more effective advert for religion than any advertising executive could have thought up if the Pope himself had retained him! Let’s face it, “What if…” is one of the most powerful thoughts in the human mind. How many times have you left the house, got in your car, and just as you’re about to pull away have you thought “Have I locked the back door?” How many times have you had to check, despite telling yourself that you’ve “probably” locked it?

In a lot of ways (and ignoring the actual theology of a particular faith), one of the most compelling reasons for going to Church/temple/mosque is because you want to have that reassurance that when you kick the bucket, you end up sipping champagne in the VIP lounge of Club Afterlife, instead of an eternity of drinking Diamond white while queuing for the crap-encrusted toilets in the Damnation Arms.

On top of this, does your average bus-reader in Britain pays attention to probabilities? How many people play the Lottery? My mathematic abilities may have faded in the last 10 years, but I think that in terms of probability you could play both the weekend and mid-week draws for 130,000 years and still not win the jackpot. It isn’t logic, reason, or the likelihood of the outcome that motivates them, it’s hope.

As for me, did this poster suddenly make me “stop worrying and start enjoying my life”? No. Because in the same way suddenly believing in God doesn’t turn your life into one long picnic, denying the existence of God doesn’t mean that you can just roll a fatty-boom-batty and not give a shit. This new philosophy will have little impact on the stress I (and you) probably have to deal with every day.

In short, the posters are (probably) not going to change your life.